In the U.S., November is the month of Thanksgiving and this last November I was asked to speak in church on gratitude, which may seem odd unless you know that our church has no paid clergy and so it is normal for members of the congregation to give talks. I got the message at school just before 6th and 7th periods, the two classes that absolutely make my hair stand on end, and I thought, ‘Maybe they should give this topic to someone who doesn’t teach jr. high.’ That’s probably an indicator that I’m the one who needed it the most.
I was scheduled to speak on Sunday, November 12th, but the call came on Tuesday the 7th; I remember because early that morning I had learned my grandmother had passed away. Gratitude for her life was still far too tender a subject but as soon as I heard the word “Thanksgiving,” my family tree did immediately pop into my mind. I knew my talk needed to begin in 1620 when seven of my great-grandparents, two great-granduncles, and two first cousins arrived in America aboard the Mayflower. Five of the men were among the signers of the Mayflower Compact, the forerunner to our U.S. Constitution, though at the time none of them could have possibly conceived of the impact those signatures would have on this land and the larger world. My great-grandfather John Alden had signed onto the Mayflower as a cooper or barrel maker. He would have signed the Mayflower Compact with a laborer’s hands that were probably red and raw from cold and hard work with no idea he would one day serve as lieutenant governor of the colony. Nobody knew what was coming or where those events would lead.
This was a mixed group. Many were genuinely giving everything they had to do God’s will while some had signed on as sailors or others were just trying to better their lives. All of them were doing their level best to survive and move forward. All of them were in the right place at the right time, but that did not mean their road was easy. In fact, nothing went as they had planned, not one thing, and considering they suffered a 50% death rate in the first year, it was truly the hardest of the hard. If anyone had reason to shake their fists at God, it was these people. So, I have to ask, why did that first Thanksgiving even happen at all?
A lot of mythology has grown up around the first Thanksgiving, and we only have one surviving written account, described in a letter by Edward Winslow. He wrote:
“Our harvest being gotten in, our governor sent four men on fowling, that we might after a more special manner rejoice together, after we had gathered the fruits of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as, with a little help beside, served the Company almost a week. At which time, amongst other recreations, we exercised our arms, many of the Indians coming amongst us, and among the rest their greatest king Massasoit, with some 90 men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted, and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought to the plantation and bestowed on our governor, and upon the captain and others. And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet by the goodness of God, we are so far from want that we often wish you partakers of our plenty.”
If you look carefully, you will find the basis for many of our modern Thanksgiving traditions: fowl or bird to eat, games, hosting, generosity, and plenty, but there is a stark, key difference. Do not forget that this celebration took place very close to the fresh graves of family and loved ones. They were still stinging with their losses. Yet that passage begins with “rejoice together” and ends “by the goodness of God . . .” They were mourning, carrying the weight of heavy burdens, but they did not forget to give thanks to God for what they had, for their very lives.
Gary B. Sabin gave a beautiful talk entitled “Hallmarks of Happiness.” In a clear and perfect statement, he said, “you will never be happier than you are grateful.” I wish I could tell you that at the time this statement struck me like a gong and I hurried to put it up on my fridge, but I didn’t. Instead that pointed remark washed around me in the river of all the other wonderful talks at that conference, and I didn’t give it enough thought. However, a week later I was in the hospital with what I thought was just bronchitis, but after a lot of tests they said, actually you can’t breathe because your heart is functioning at 20%, here’s a ton of medications so you don’t die.
My arteries were totally clear; we have a good idea of the cause and it wasn’t my fault. I have to interject here that everything is well in hand; I’m going to be fine. But at the time I was mad and when I got home, I went to the Lord and said “Really! Isn’t this just overkill? Why me? Haven’t I done everything You’ve asked me to do?” Which really aren’t the smartest questions you can ask the most powerful being in the universe, but I was hurting and angry, and ashamed of feeling angry, which is a caustic combination.
Oddly enough He did not say, “My bad,” and take away my troubles. Instead, I felt strongly that I needed to study the Book of Job. I admit, I have a sorry history with the story of Job. I had read it and I knew the story of course, but I’ve always really struggled to study it. It seemed like I’d always get tangled up halfway through and then go running off to something that made more sense to me, but I’d had my prompting, so I said, okay, I’ll try.
I determined to read it in smaller bites and carefully monitor what I was understanding and where I was getting stuck. I prayed for insight as I went and determined to look up the sticky parts. Surprisingly a big help appeared early on from YouTube. Of course, if you watch a little Elder Bednar and some Tabernacle Choir, the algorithm cottons on to your preferences, but this particular video was someone and something very different and out of the blue. Interestingly, it popped up before I had looked up anything about Job outside my printed scriptures, so no algorithm had any idea what I was searching for. The moment I saw the thumbnail, I felt a little bug in my ear, a little tiny push. I clicked on it, and there was this very learned scholar breaking down the Book of Job, and in less than 15 minutes, many of those tangled parts loosened up, like I’d been handed a set of keys to turn as I studied.
Job is in excruciating pain and distress, to the point that he genuinely wants to die, and he isn’t shy about sharing it, but the key is that he consistently submits his will and sticks with the Lord.
I finally understood that Job was judged righteous before the Lord not because he struggled with his trials but because as he struggled, he was drawn out in prayer, explaining his pain and all his heart to the Lord, even the ugly parts. That means that even in the depths of his despair, he was acknowledging his submission and partnership with the Lord. This demonstrated his gratitude that the Lord had not walked away from him. That act of submission and gratitude made Job so great in the eyes of God that millennia later, when Joseph Smith was staggering under his own trials, the Lord in His typical shorthand, held up Job as an example, providing a path for Joseph to follow.
In my nightstand I keep a plain little notebook where I write down the priesthood blessings I am given, and a year or so after I first moved to Bountiful, I was told I would eventually be able to help uplift others. At the time I was in the throes of cancer, a nasty divorce, financial upheaval, and deep emotional distress. I looked around at my neighbors and thought ‘how could I possibly help all these bright, shiny people when my life is such a disaster?’ Now, some years have passed and I know my neighbors better. In my eyes they are not just bright and shiny, but bright and shiny and so beautiful. I see people going to church and work and school each week, so many doing their level best to do what the Lord asks. Each day we head into the wild wearing ties and lipstick that can sometimes disguise the heavy burdens dragging behind us. Out among my neighbors I know so many have children and loved ones who have made painful choices. We totter with health challenges that seem so unfair, stumble under financial strains, terrible losses, mental health stresses, and all the other troubles that come with a scary and mortal world.
We watch the news. We know the world is getting progressively more dreadful and disturbing. We should not forget that Satan is honestly a pretty clever critter. He’s not only read Revelations, but he actually understands Isaiah. Even more crucially, he also remembers all the history we’ve forgotten, so he’s aware of the mistakes people are the most likely to repeat once they lose sight of God’s teachings. He is also aware his time is short, so he’s pulling out all the last-ditch sins, even the stupidest ones he knows couldn’t hold water longterm.
When our arms are already hanging down, it can seem terrifying to be facing down such a dark and frightening superman, until we look back and remember that Job has already done it. The Pilgrims took a lesson from Job and did it too, as did Joseph Smith and later the Pioneers. I’m not even counting Christ because He is the gold standard, an entirely different level of example. Today I am focusing on these ordinary, mortal people who carried the shields of gratitude because they intentionally did not forget what God had done for them, not even in their extremity.
I still don’t know what use I could be in uplifting anyone, but I will say that as I look around me, I see many Mayflower Pilgrims doing their level best to carry out God’s will, standing against the worldly tide of stress and sorrow that threatens to overwhelm us. There is value in that struggle. Like the Pilgrims and the signers of the Mayflower Compact, we have no idea where our signatures will lead or the impact our efforts will have on ourselves, our loved ones, or even on God’s Kingdom. But God does know! He always knows, and He is sitting right next to us at the table of thanksgiving, whatever month it may be.
We need to take a lesson from the Pilgrims and as we are huffing and puffing under our heavy burdens, we need to remember that gratitude has the power to lighten loads. That means that each day at school when my hair is standing on end as I am welcoming 6th and 7th periods, I need to remember that I can only be as happy as I am grateful.